Online Dating Tips - You Must Read!

Decide what you want first. The site you use, your profile and photo all need to be chosen to suit the partner and partnership you're looking for. So before you ever go online, think carefully through your wants, needs, deal breakers.

Set Goals. Have you really thought about what you want out of your online dating experience? To help, try setting numeric goals. If you decide that in 2014 you'd like to go on one, two or 10 dates, go for it.

Try Suggesting A Date In Your Profile. While most profiles list interests, why not list your ideal date? Instead of saying that you love to cook, say that your ideal date is a cooking class followed by a meal you two can cook together. This sets you apart, and as a bonus, listing an experience can help potential matches envision what it would be like to spend time with you.

Upload A Silly Picture. There's no doubt a simple picture is essential for your online dating profile, but putting up an additional silly photo can help show off your personality a little more.

Be Web Wise. Develop a strategy before you begin. What, exactly, are you looking for? Create a shopping list and be as specific as possible. Rather than saying "someone who wants kids", get granular. Say that you want someone who wants two kids, about three years apart and is willing to go through fertility treatments with you should pregnancy become a problem. Part of making your list is defining what you want.

Be wary of communications that ask you to act immediately, offer something that sounds too good to be true, or asks for personal information. There are certain red flags to watch for that may indicate you're dealing with a scammer. Be aware of anyone who. Quickly asks to talk or chat on an outside email or messaging service. Claims to be from U.S. but currently travelling, living or working abroad. Asks you for money. Vanishes mysteriously from the site, then reappears under a different name. Talks about "destiny" or "fate". Claims to be recently widowed. Asks for your address under the guise of sending flowers or gifts. Makes an inordinate amount of grammar and/or spelling errors. Sends you emails containing strange links to third-party websites.

Less is more at first. Don't give too much away too soon. Gradually reveal details about yourself and don't post photos that are overly sexy. Policewoman Nicola has had experience of this. "Online dating sites are full of people who want to get to the flirty email stage before they even say hello!  And that's just the ordinary ones!".

Protect your finances. Ignore any request to send money, especially overseas or by wire transfer, and report it to us immediately – even if the person claims to be in an emergency. Wiring money is like sending cash: the sender has no protections against loss and it's nearly impossible to reverse the transaction or trace the money. Never give financial information (such as you social security number, credit card number or bank information) to people you don't know or you haven't met in person.

Market yourself. Don't just reuse old photos or copy your profile from dating site to dating site. There are a lot of parallels between online dating and marketing: you must know exactly who your audience is, who you want to attract and what's most likely to hook them.

Tell the truth. Most folk on dating sites are genuinely looking for love - if they're not, they go to 'hook-up' or 'married' sites. But many people are also insecure, so tweak age, height or weight to make a good impression. It works best to be truthful - anything else creates a false start to love.

Keep score. Once you've thought of all the traits you want in a mate, prioritise them. Think about the characteristics in the context of previous relationships, your friends and your family. Develop a scoring system. Allocate points to your top 10, and fewer points to a second set of 10-15 characteristics. Decide the lowest number of points you'll accept in order to go out on a date with someone. This is basically developing a handcrafted algorithm, just for yourself.

Don't try to be funny. Most people aren't funny – at all – in print. What you say to your friends at the pub after a few pints may get a lot of laughs, but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll translate on a dating site. The same goes for sarcasm. Often, people who think they sound clever instead come off as angry or mean. Here's a good tip: after you've written your profile, read it aloud to yourself.

Use optimistic language. In my experiment, I found that certain words ("fun", "happy") made profiles more popular. Talk about what excites you, or paint a picture of a really great day that you would want to be a part of. Would you date you?

Be selective. It's good to give examples of your likes and dislikes, but bear in mind that you may inadvertently discourage someone by getting too specific about things that aren't ultimately that important. I love Curb Your Enthusiasm. As it turns out, my husband particularly dislikes that show. If I'd have gone on and on about Larry David in my profile I wonder if he'd have responded.

Don't be too choosy. When you are going through the reams of potential partners on the internet - or when you meet them on a date - it's all too easy to have a shopping list mentality.  'He's too short, I don't like her eyes, or he doesn't make enough money'. eHarmony's relationship advice expert Jenni Trent Hughes suggests not being too judgmental. "Try turning down the volume on your inner critic on a superficial front, you may just discover you're a better judge of character, and are better able to decide if your date is someone that you connect with on a new level," she says.

Be ready to date. If you're not over a previous relationship or anxious and demotivated about going online, you'll self-sabotage. Wait until you're emotionally available, confident in yourself, ready to put in time and energy. Get support. Find a dating buddy, someone to help you through the tricky stages, support you through disappointment, celebrate your success.

Don't expect instant success. In everyday life you may meet hundreds of people at work, socially or by chance before you find someone to date. The same's true online - it can take months of regular searching before you find a match.

Get ready for rejection. Don't take a rejection to heart. Just because you didn't connect with one date, it doesn't mean it's your fault. They may want someone who is a different age or lives closer to them. It works both ways. You may like someone as a person, but feel no romantic connection to them - so feel free to say no to dates that you know won't work.

Think about paying. Some sites are free, but for most sites you have to pay and it can get quite expensive. It's often the case that the more serious people are about finding a mate the more likely they are willing to pay a subscription. So you may find more time-wasters on free sites.

From Cari Jodoh.